Fortune-TV - fortune files full of TV quotes

There are many things I like about using Linux/UNIX, but one of my favorite things to play around with is a little program known as fortune. It’s very simple (I get along well with very simple programs), the purpose of fortune is to spit out a randomly selected strings from a list of strings (a fortune file in our case), like a Magic 8-Ball or a fortune cookie (except funnier and less edible).

There are about 20 fortune files that come with the base package fortune-mod. Some of them are humorous, some of them are pretty obscure, some of them are down right bizarre, but fortune provides a little character in an otherwise dreary (or not so dreary) UNIX environment. A few years ago I had compiled a handful of my own fortune files from a couple of television shows I liked, copy/pasted from IMDB, screened and sorted by hand. For a guy who runs conky with a fortune output refreshing every minute I was desperate to find fresh and funny material.

The original collection was something like: Arrested Development, Home Movies, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Futurama, and Sealab 2021. These sat in my /usr/share/games/fortune directory for a while and provide a good laugh every so often. I had always intended to add a few more shows here and there but other projects eventually took priority and this idea sat on the back burner for a while.

Whereas I had been using IMDB in the past for gathering quotations, I recently took a look at and found it to be a pretty extensive resource and easy to work with web content-wise. So now, thanks to some inspiration, a free weekend, and a big pot of coffee, I’ve compiled an even larger archive of TV-centric fortune files: fortune-tv. Shows include:

  • 3rd Rock From The Sun

  • 30 Rock

  • The A-Team

  • Archer

  • Arrested Development

  • Batman

  • Batman – The Animated Series

  • Beavis & Butt-head

  • Bob’s Burgers

  • The Boondocks

  • Curb Your Enthusiasm

  • Dilbert

  • Drawn Together

  • Firefly

  • Frisky Dingo

  • Futurama

  • Generation Kill

  • Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law

  • Home Movies

  • It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia

  • King Of The Hill

  • Look Around You

  • Lucy: Daughter of the Devil

  • Mad Men

  • Malcolm In The Middle

  • Metalocalypse

  • Monty Python’s Flying Circus

  • Moral Orel

  • Mr. Show

  • Mystery Science Theater 3000

  • Newsradio

  • The Office (US)

  • Parks and Recreation

  • Peep Show

  • QI

  • Rick and Morty

  • Robot Chicken

  • Rocko’s Modern Life

  • Saturday Night Live

  • Scrubs

  • Sealab 2021

  • Seinfeld

  • The Simpsons

  • The Sopranos

  • South Park

  • Squidbillies

  • The Wire

  • Trailer Park Boys

  • The Twilight Zone

  • The Venture Brothers

  • Workaholics

  • The X-Files

  • The Young Ones

Pick and choose your favorites! If you’re using these in your bash profile remember to have fortune trim the length of selected quotes (-n to set length) since many of these files contain longer chunks of dialog. There are a couple of formatting issues here and there that I’m finding (also some of the punctuation is not standard which bothers me, these were parsed after all from a wiki) but otherwise I’m very happy with the new collection. Tell your friends, tell your family, tell your greybeards, fortune-tv is out now!

This page was last updated on November 01, 2014.